The One With Ants and "The Social Network"

via Google Images

We have carpenter ants outside our back door. They are slowly, methodically, pulling all the little bits of the foundation out from under the apartment building. And I'm pretty sure this means that at some point in the next 6 months, the building is going to collapse.

I went on a crazy ant-spray yielding spree earlier today, and when I sprayed down the ones hanging out outside my door, this SWARM of them came out of this hole in the foundation. SWARMS. Like. . .my worst nightmare kind of swarming.

I know that ants in and of themselves are not scary creatures. They're not. But when hundreds of them are SWARMING OUT OF YOUR WALL, I feel the same way about them that I feel about birds. Don't even get me going on birds.

Ants slowly killing the foundation of my apartment building

After the massacre

What's actually going on in that second picture is that I'd sprayed the crap out of the ants pouring out of the foundation and, I don't know if you can see them or not, but the ants that survived are picking through the survivors. Either looking for loved ones, or looking for a snack. You can never be certain.

D and I went to see "The Social Network" last night, with free movie tickets we'd received for trying out the church we're currently attending. (No, I don't really like church. Yes, I like movies and yes, I like the fact that the church has a bucket of Diet Cokes for my perusal every Sunday morning. It's a give and take, pros and cons kind of situation.)

Over my Giant Heart Attack-sized popcorn, we watched the story of Mark Zuckurberg (I may or may not have spelled that right), the inventor of Facebook, and the world's youngest millionaire (also known as Sarah's New BFF.)

The movie itself was really good, actually. A friend of mine said he'd never see the movie because, ". . .it's about FACEBOOK." I would say that this is not a great reason to not check it out. It kind of portrays people my age as. . .really crappy, entitled people, but we kind of are, so I can't fault the movie for that.

The dialogue (did I spell THAT right?) was snappy and great, and the story was seriously interesting. I don't know how much of the story is true, but there was no point during this movie that I looked at my phone to see what time it was. It kept my interest, and the guy who played Mark was fantastic. He's got elitist (SPELLING?) apathy down to a science. (That doesn't sound like a compliment, but it is.)

There were a couple of issues I had with the movie as well. For me, the ending was way too abrupt. It kind of came out of nowhere, during a time I thought there was more that could have been said. It did give updates on what people who were in the story are doing now, and how things were resolved, so that was good, but I didn't like how abruptly the credits were rolling.

My second (of two) issues is with Justin Timberlake. Not JT himself (Love him. Added him to my List of 5.) or his acting (which isn't perfect, but I think he's got a solid film career ahead of him.) It was the fact that. . .they cast Justin Timberlake. I think he, as a celebrity, was too big for this film, especially considering it was (allegedly) a true story.

I say this because he played the creator of Napster, who is a 7% share owner of Facebook. But what I found myself thinking to myself was, "Oh, wow. Justin Timberlake is a part owner of Facebook!"

Well, no. He's not. But since he was playing the character who IS part owner, Justin Timberlake's celebrity overshadowed the role he was playing. I think if this were not at all a true story, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But I kept having to remind myself that Justin Timberlake did not invent Napster and has nothing to do with Facebook.

All in all, a movie I'd recommend. 3 out of 4 stars.

Just remember that Justin Timberlake does not own any part of Facebook, nor did he invent Napster.

The One With Too Much Information

I've mentioned, I'm sure, before my love/hate relationship with facebook. I love (or at least like a little) facebook because I hate (hate HATE) talking on the phone, and it allows me to have interaction with people like that girl I had lunch with that one time on a second grade field trip. Lifelong Friends, you know what I'm sayin'?

Recently, I went through a major clean-out of my facebook friends. I, at one point, had almost 600 "friends." Then I began realizing that a few of them were just people I flat out didn't like, a bunch of them were people I only knew peripherally, and the rest I used to care about, but now do not. Now, I think I have. . .200-ish? And these people fall into the following categories:

1) Family

2) People I actually like (some from Category 1 cross over into Category 2.)

3) People I keep on my list because I might one day need something (An example of this is the class president from high school. . .he sent out the invitation for the 5-year class reunion on facebook, so I'm certain he'll do the same thing for reunion years that I GIVE a crap about.)

. . .and finally

4) People whose lives are such a train wreck that I have to keep them on my list just for my fill of drama that I'm not involved in (some from Categories 1, 2, and 3 are also on this list.)

The people in Category 4 are those people that, despite leaving them on my list, I don't really understand. The people who put every. single. thing. that happens to them on facebook. The kind of people you have to take off your feed because if you don't, it looks like:

9:44 a.m. Sally McOvershare is in the bathroom.

9:53 a.m. Sally McOvershare just took the best crap of her life! LOLz!

10:01 a.m. Sally McOvershare can't decide what she wants for breakfast.

10:15 a.m. Sally McOvershare decided to have waffle and bacon for breakfast LOL!

10:32 a.m. Sally McOvershare is having the WORST CRAMPS EVER! PMS is THE WORST! Like this status if you agree!!!1!!!1!1!!1!1!!

Stuff like that.

What gets even more interesting, though, is when you get someone who feels like facebook is actually called dramabook, and they tell you more than you. . .ever cared to know about their personal life.

8:34 p.m. Kelsey von Info-Overload can't believe her baby's daddy isn't going to pay child support this month.

9:48 p.m. Kelsey von Info-Overload is sooooo mad that she can't have sex tonight!

10:03 p.m. Kelsey von Info-Overload is thinking of calling social services on her child's father! What kind of ass-jerk doesn't even come over when he says he's going to? I can't believe I ever had sex with that guy!

11:06 p.m. Kelsey von Info-Overload just talked to her son's father. We fought, but then decided to have sex. I may have forgotten to take my Pill today. OOOppps! LOL!

You know. . .stuff like that.

There's this girl I know. . .I'll call her Pat. Pat has, in the last 2 years, broken up with her kids' father, her kids' father has gotten into a new relationship, she moved to Oklahoma to be with some guy, they broke up, her kids' father took the kids, which may or may not have been court-mandated, she moved again, she got into a relationship with this guy who finalized his divorce on July 13, they broke up because he's got a new girlfriend, and oh yeah, she's pregnant with his baby now, but she's decided to keep it.

What you may or may not be interested in knowing is that I haven't talked to this girl since approximately February of 2009. So how do I know all this?

Because she posts her entire life on facebook.

Every time she was mad at her Baby Daddy, it went on facebook. Their fights went on facebook. The fights they got in on facebook were then commented upon by their family members.

He posted, when he got divorced, "yay! i'm finally divorced!" This was the slew of comments that ensued (these are verbatim, so misspellings and egregious uses of punctuation and grammar are NOT because of me:

Girl 1: Really? OFicially??

Girl 2: what?! wow!!! it's about damn time too!!!

The Guy: yep i'm officially free. . .kinda :)

Girl 1: your not free by ANYYY means! and your both already planning new weddings?!? ya'll are nuts (I'd like to comment here that it makes me CRAZY when people spell y'all like that. CRAZY. Do people not know BASIC RULES OF CONTRACTIONS?!)

"Pat": We're not planning yet! he still can't get married for six months!

Girl 1: GOOD! I know your smitten but trust me...(GUY'S NAME)??! lmao. JK what day are you guys leaving me again?

"Pat": The 29th! We just packed up the kitchen!

Guy's Mom: You are far from Free! Every time you are around I become Broke!!! LOL

The Guy: ha ha love you mom :)

So, I mean. . .Not only is it bad spelling and punctuation. . .it's just too much information! Friends contributing to it, etc. Pat couldn't have just said, "haha, no, no wedding planning!" She had to get all specific.

The Guy is in a new relationship now anyway, after having broken up with Pat. . .on August 11, the new girlfriend was leaving little hearts on his status updates, at the same time Pat was, on August 18, they were all lovey dovey, and on August 29, New Girlfriend was saying what a great night they had together. So. . .somewhere in there.

My point is, I shouldn't KNOW ALL THIS. One might argue that I don't have to read it, and that's true, but it's really just my desire to see drama that doesn't involve me unfold. It's like celebrity gossip. Except celebrities? They just do things and people find out about it. With facebook, people do things NO ONE has to know about, but they feel the need to tell you about it anyway.

I realize this is getting all rambly, but one more thing I want to share. Facebook also brings out the idiot in already idiotic people. Pat updated (after she told everyone she was pregnant) saying, "I feel so horrible. I just wanna be able to eat a good size meal again!" and the guy who got her pregnant was all, "Lol sorry!!!"

My final thought is I KNOW why people do stuff like that. . .put their dirty laundry on facebook. Because they want the attention. In my opinion, this girl is a freaking idiot. She's a trainwreck anyway, and now she's bringing a new baby into that mess. But all her friends are all, "You're sooo brave!" "You're soooo heroic."

No. You guys? It takes no heroism to have sex without protection, and it take no bravery to have to deal with your mistakes. It's just something you DO. There are exceptions, obviously, but in this case? I have all ideas this was no accident, and now she's attention whoring it up.

The point of all this was, your dirty laundry should stay in the hamper.

The One Where My Brain is On Backwards and I Can't Stay On Topic

I swear, I'm going to finish some of the posts I've started, but for some reason, I'm just like. . .they aren't shiny and new to me anymore. They were awesome when I started them, but then I started to bore myself. And when you start to bore yourself, you're in trouble. Big Trouble.

Also of note, I went from 12 subscribers to 11. That made me. . .a lot more sad than it probably should have. I don't know who it was that dropped me, or what I did to offend them so. It was like (before I stopped caring) when I lost facebook "friends." I was like. . .wow. What have I done that is SO BAD that people don't want to be facebook friends with me anymore?

And then, of course, I started weeding out my facebook friends list, went from almost 600 friends to just under 335, and I continue to weed it occasionally. These people shouldn't necessarily take it personally. . .I just don't really care that much to keep up with them.

I'm a little all over the place today, and I actually wouldn't even be here (writing, I mean), had I not read a post by the lovely Aunt Becky about why she writes. Aunt Becky is one of those bloggers that I wish I knew in real life. She's awesome and crass and heartfelt (can one BE heartfelt, or do people just SAY heartfelt things?), and I'm not even exaggerating when I say that she sometimes may even make me feel better about myself. Call me lame, call me whatever. . .that's the way it is.

I have a book club meeting tonight. I can't remember if I mentioned the book I read, but it's "Still Alice," and it's about this 50-year-old woman with early-onset Alzheimer's. This book broke my heart, and I'm excited to talk to other people who read it, to see what they thought.

Of course, reading this book gave me yet another thing to worry that I have. I'm a hypochondriac of the worst kind, and I'm also horribly, horribly absentminded. So, in my mind, of course, Absentmindedness = Alzheimer's.

Some time, I'll have to tell you about the time I thought I had simultaneous cancer and liver failure, thanks to the blue ice cream.

I'll share this with you here: I've decided that my OCD is taking over my brain to such a large extent that I am actually therapist shopping right now. I'm not. . .terribly ashamed about it, but the problem that I have is actually, I know how drugs to tone down the problem can mess with you, and I've taken those, and I do not like them. I don't like how they make me feel, and I don't like how they make me think.

That may sound kind of weird, me not liking the way brain drugs alter my brain, but what I mean is, if I'm on something like that, I'm. . .less interesting. It's kind of like putting an artist on Ritalin. They just can't do the same things when they're not a little crazy. This concerns me. I battle enough with thinking I'm boring. But then again, during a screaming match I may or may not have had yesterday, I was accused of being "paranoid and delusional," so if that is, in fact, true, maybe my brain NEEDS to be altered.

I don't really know. I don't know why I feel the need to share this either, but there it is. So if I get really boring and my subscribers list drops from 11 to 8, and then from 8 to 3, and then, one day, I only have 1 left. . .that's probably why.

Since I can't seem to keep a straight train of thought, I'll leave you with a conversation I had with D after lunch. His car is in the shop currently, so he comes to get me for lunch.

Another thing you need to understand is that my parents (my mom and SDad) are gross. Like. . .in a nauseating kind of way. In the kind of way that my mother always has flowers at her desk that he bought her, and that there are little notes around their house that say things like, "I dove my Tschugah!" or "I miss my Tschugah!" (Um. . .Tschugah is kind of a bastardization of "Sugar," and that is what my parents call each other. They do not refer to each other by name. Ever.) (Also, dove = love. This is important later.)

So, we're pulling into the parking lot, and I don't even know what prompted this (it could have been the fact that my SDad was in the parking lot, waiting for my mother), but this is what happened:

D: I dove wu!

Me: Oh my God. OH MY GOD. Never again. Never. Again. We are not longer talking. OK, you can come and pick me up at 5, but I'm not speaking to you on the ride home.

D: But. . .I DOVE wu!

Me: AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! NO!

Probably, it was funnier in person. But it made D laugh.