Monday, January 25, 2010

The One With Profanity and Cupcakes

I'm going to share with you a commercial that, inexplicably, makes me laugh like a maniac. There's one particular part. . .the rest isn't terribly funny, but the kid with the sousaphone makes me laugh. Maniacally. He shows up around the :10 mark.

That kid makes me laugh. So. Hard. What irritates me, though, is the chick that holds up the appendages and says something about not spending, "one of these and one of these. . .an arm and a leg." C'mon, T-mobile. . .you give your potential customers no credit. I think that bit would have been hilarious if she hadn't clarified. The guy buying from "Schnitzel and Things" is pretty funny, too.

Not a lot to report, really. Still working at the same place. People still think it's funny when I tell them I work in the Accounting Department. (I get it. I'm bad at math. It's irony. Get over it.) I kept track of the number of times The Blonde One used profanity on Friday. . .my tally sheet isn't right in front of me, but I'm pretty sure it was 15 uses of the F-word, 3 uses of the MF-word, and 20-something various other obscenities. D and I (and by "D and I," I mean "D") figured out that, broken down, it came out to one obscenity every 5 minutes and 35 seconds. . .or something ridiculous like that. 5 minutes and something. That seems. . .vaguely unprofessional.

So, needless to say, I'm still looking for a full-time job. I need to call this woman who e-mailed me about a position at a local magazine, but, unfortunately, it's not a full-time job that pays. . .anything. I feel like, though, if I want to do something in that industry at all, I need to start over from scratch. Which sucks, but it's kind of necessary. I've been out of full-time, permanent work for almost a year now (it'll be a year in. . .10 days. Wow.) and I'm just wanting to do something I like. Preferably something not profanity-laden.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not against profanity as a rule. I'm a fan, actually. I don't care about the people who are like, "Profanity is for unintelligent people who have no other words to use and nothing better to say." Well, no. I'm relatively intelligent. I have a lot of words in my arsenal. Sometimes, it's just necessary. And it feels good. But like all good things, it should be used in moderation. You wouldn't sit down and drink a bottle of whisky, would you? (Maybe you would. You shouldn't.) My point is, there's a line, and The Blonde One crosses it on a daily basis, and I'm kind of surprised she still has a job.

So the anniversary of my firing is coming up, and Valentine's Day is also coming up. At least Valentine's Day comes with cheap candy the day after. I feel like cupcakes should be a thing that happens, to commemorate. Also, D's and my relationshipiversary is in February. I don't actually know how to do that. . .anniversaries for things when you're not married. My mom and SDad do anniversaries like. . .the anniversary of the first time he called her at work and the anniversary of the time she drove 45 minutes to bring him chocolate chip muffins she'd baked. (Seriously.) They also do the anniversary of their first date. It was 10 years ago this year (February, incidentally, I think.) and I don't know if they still do this, but they used to wear the same outfits and go to the same restaurant. (Red Lobster, if I'm not mistaken.)

And all that came from. . .cupcakes. February is a hopping month, apparently, and I think cupcakes are probably a thing that needs to happen. Funfetti, with the good icing, not the crap they're trying to pass off as Funfetti icing these days. (If you're wondering, the correct Funfetti icing, more commonly called "Rainbow Chip" is the vanilla-looking one that has. . .rainbow chips in it. Don't even believe anyone when they try to tell you that the vanilla icing with the sealed packet of oblong jimmies, or circular jimmies on top is a Funfetti icing. They are lying to you and should be slapped.


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