The One With Obnoxious Stick Figures

Good morning.

Didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Did NOT. I wanted to call in lazy. But I have a feeling calling my boss and saying, "You know, I don't really feel like getting up at this particular time. I don't think I'll be in today," wouldn't get me too far. Unless by "too far," you mean back on the unemployment line.

I read an article earlier about Twitter, and how it may have "flatlined." This actually makes me quite sad, because I feel the compulsive need to let everyone know what I'm doing/thinking always, and if it loses popularity, they might shut it down, and I might not be able to obsessively tell people what I'm up to. These are the things I think about. Maybe I should go and make a record of all of my updates so I can have a record of all the witty, intriguing things I've said in the last year or so in my 1,503 posts.

I was cut off in traffic today by a person with those really, really annoying stick figures of their families. These things annoy me more than I could possibly put into words. D disagrees with me. He thinks they're cute. I, on the other hand, want to pull people that have these on their car over, slap them, and say, "You're welcome." You get minus 50 points for having them on your car and minus another 10 for each instance of (1) pets, (2) pet names, and (3) people names. Putting names under your little stick people is just ASKING for someone to lure your kids away.



"Hi there. . .(looks at window). . .Amber. Your Mommy. . .Jenny. . .wanted me to come pick you up and bring you back home, because your Daddy. . .John. . .is going to be in the store for a very long time. How is your puppy. . .Fido doing?"



You see what I'm saying? It's unsafe and dorky. And not dorky in a good way, like the T-shirts that say, "I'm an English major. You do the math." Dorky like, unexcusably dorky. The variations on the theme (i.e. Jesus fish for how many people are in your family, pairs of sandals for how many people are in your family, etc.) are still relatively unacceptable, but better than the stick people. The one concession I will make is the other night, when I saw a bunch of them on the back of a minivan (it's almost ALWAYS a minivan) and it was a little family all wearing UNC jerseys. That was kind of cute. Plus, the names weren't under them, so they weren't encouraging child abduction.

That's all I'm saying.