Wednesday, November 25, 2009

The One With the Gay Lion

As I sit here in Panera and write this, a girl that I went to high school with, who HA. TED. ME, is sitting across the room. I feel like she keeps looking at me, and every time I look over at her, and she glances up, I look away. I probably look like a stalker. She, apparently, has not ended her infatuation with men of other ethnicities. The guy that she dated all through high school and through most of the years I was in college was a black guy, and the guy she's dating now ("Jerry" according to the guy who just called out that their order was ready) is Hispanic. None of that is relevant to anything, except that it's making me nervous that she's sitting there, and I haven't seen her in. . .at least 5 years.

So I started work on Monday, and I must say, I'm enjoying it quite a bit. Basically what I'm doing is working for a company that works with publishing companies. The project I'm working on is something they were commissioned to do for either Texas schools or Ohio schools (I can't remember which), where they are "measuring" the textbooks used to see if, by using these textbooks, the students are getting the proper amount of knowledge for use in either college, or after college graduation.

I have to admit here that when I was initially told I was going to be "measuring" books, I thought they meant that literally. Like, I was going to be seeing how long the books were. This was before I knew what the project was (I'm assuming that the length and width of a book has nothing to do with its readibility.) So I load the scanned books into this software program that "reads" them and highlights information as either being text, pictures, graphs, or whatever, and I go through and delete all the information that doesn't need to be run through and analyzed. Stuff like pictures, page numbers, chapter titles, headers and subheaders and stuff like that.
I'm pretty sure that my description of this is really, really dull, but I'm actually really enjoying my job. I can wear jeans to work, I can listen to music while I'm working, and nobody bothers me. My supervisor comes over, like, once a day to check and see how things are going, and the woman that works with my supervisor comes over to bring me hard copies of the books I'm working on, but other than that, that's it. Plus! They have a fridge full of soda (Diet Coke included) that I can help myself to. It's pretty much ideal.

The only issue I'm having is that while I'm going through these books, I have a tendancy to want to stop and read them. A lot of these have really interesting essays and stuff like that (I'm doing mostly English and grammar and rhetoric books) and I have to fight to keep from reading them a lot of the time.
The other day, I was editing a section on arguments, and an essay (that I didn't read in its entirety, but that I read parts of) caught my attention. The author was arguing that The Lion King is racist and homophobic. Her (I think it was a woman) point was that the hyenas (which were dark, which means they were black) were sequestered to the otuskirts of the Pridelands, along with Scar (whosed mane was also black), who, apparently, represents gay people. The point was that the "black" and the "gay" characters were being shunned.

This? Blew my mind. I can pretty much find gay undertones in anything you put in front of me, but I have never until now even considered that there was anything gay about Scar. If you were to say, "Sarah, find something gay in The Lion King," I would point to Timon and Pumbaa. Scar might sound a little bit British, but other than that, I just don't see it.
I was going to do some more in-depth research on this, looking at other places online, to see if anyone else had said anything about it, but I haven't done that yet. What I have done, however, is present the theory to D, who I expected to find it just as ludicrous and I did.

That is not actually what happened.

This is:
"Yeah," he says. "I had never really sat down and thought about it, but yeah. I think he represents the gays."
I asked him to elaborate, and he says, "Well, he's thinner, sleeker than the other, 'straight' lions. . ."
"He's ostracized and doesn't get enough to eat!" I argued.
"I don't know," says D. "I feel like there's nothing stereotypically gay about him, but that you just kind of understand that he is."

"I don't understand he is," I say.

I can't necessarily remember the rest of that conversation, but the basic gist (jist?) is that I am, apparently, the only person ever who didn't see that Scar was gay. Anyone else? I don't know how many people actually read this, but I'd be interested to get some other input. Do you think Scar is supposed to be gay? Am I missing a huge thing here? (Yes. I realize how 'stereotypically' gay he looks in this picture. It's called irony.)
I'm really disturbed by this whole concept. Not that he's (maybe) gay, but that I didn't see it. Then again, I tend to miss obvious gays. The subtle gays, I'm like, "Hey! He likes men!" But if it's right there in front of me? I tend to miss it. Par example, when I saw Adam Lambert for the first (and only) time on the one episode of American Idol I was roped into watching, I insisted he wasn't gay.


Friday, November 20, 2009

The One Where I Pretend I'm a Housewife

I failed again in my 100 (105) day quest again, so I'm not going to even try for that any more. I'm just going to say that I'm going to attempt to do this every day, but I'm not going to put the added pressure on it any more. Because I really feel kind of like a failure.

Today was a day of practicing for future days of housewivery. Not that I'm planning on BEING a housewife, but if I were, today was a good day of practice. D started a temp assignment today, and mine doesn't start until Monday, so I had a lot of time on my hands. In that time, I did laundry, washed dishes, got some groceries, and did all the other things women who stay at home are (I guess) expected to do. He was supposed to be back at 2:30-ish, and I was going to have lunch ready, but then it turns out they had him stay later, so he'll be here monentarily. I was, admittedly, relatively ticked off about the change in plan, since I had busted my ass to get everything finished in time to make my Lunch of Awesome (which included chicken, pitas, hummus, and fruit), but I couldn't be too irritated, since it wasn't his fault.

My Lunch of Awesome will have to be either tonight's Dinner of Awesome (which, maybe not so much, since it sounds like he's bringing food home from work from. . .something. A party? I don't know.) or tomorrow's Lunch of Awesome.

Tomorrow night, my sister, K, D, and I are going to take mine and K's grandmother out for dinner, because neither of us are going to be able to make it for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to be up with D's family (I may have mentioned this already) and K is going to be at the beach. So we're going for a visit, and so my grandmother can meet D. I think Golden Corral is on the agenda (my grandmother said she would like either that or Chinese, and I'm kind of over Chinese right now.) Plus, I like Golden Corral, so it's a win-win.

Then, of course, Sunday is T-Day.

Here's a question. I've never co-existed as a part of a legitimate couple, where both of us are in the same place. So. . .what do people do on the weekends? Like, Friday night? I really have no idea. We have plans Saturday and Sunday, but what do couple-type people do on the weekends? I really have no idea.

Finally, I had the TV on in the background today, and Ellen's show was on. . .she had Robert Pattinson on the show, and I have to say that he's not HIDEOUSLY unattractive when he's not made up like a vampire. He seems almost charming, or something like it. But.

The fans.

He came on the set, and they screamed. . .and screamed. . .and screamed. . .and dear GOD, it was entirely too much. I had to mute the TV. Maybe it's not Twilight I hate so much as the fans of Twilight I hate.

(No. The books still suck. But the fans. . .)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The One Where I Hate Twilight

I'm not failing today! It's raining outside, D and I are at the library, and I'm going to blog post before I forget.

Today was kind of a "don't do a whole heck of a lot that's necessary in life" day. I went back to my room at my father's house and picked it up a little bit (it was looking more junky than usual), put away laundry, and packed up some clothes to take with me to my home away from home for the week. D and I went to Dollar General and picked up some kitchen necessities (i.e. Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs. Yum.) and now we're here, siphoning the free WiFi. There's WiFi where we're staying, but when you have three floors of people all using it at the same time, it can get a little slow and tedious.

A sent a text to me the other day, asking if I was planning on going to the Thursday night showing of New Moon. My response to her was, "No. Robert Pattinson makes me want to kill."

This is true. I don't understand the RP love, and I feel like everyone who finds him, "OMGSOHOT!" needs to be introduced to someone who has good hygeine and who washes their hair regularly. The "Twilight" series, while an interesting enough story, really irritates me in general. They are some of the worst-written books in the history of people who made a gabillion dollars writing books, and the relationship between Edward and Bella is so incredibly unhealthy, it makes me wonder why all these teenaged (and some times older-aged) girls (and women) and like, "OMG! Love story for the ages! Bella 'N' Edward 4 EVA!"

So the point is, actually, no, I wasn't planning on going to see it. Truth be told, I haven't even seen the first one. D saw it and (inexplicably) really liked it. He hasn't read the books, though, so I don't think he quite understands my hatred and malice for the entire franchise. I have read 3 out of the 4 books. . .the first one, I tore through in a couple days. The second one, it took me a couple of weeks. The third one? A month and a half. It was sooooo sloooooow. I almost didn't finish it, because it was really boring to me. When the fourth one came out, I didn't even bother. I went to Wal-Mart the day it came out, flipped through it, and read the last half of the last chapter, just so I'd have some kind of conclusion to all the effort I'd put into it so far. I feel, just from what I read, that I was entirely justified in doing this. It seemed like. . .tripe.

Now, I'm not saying everything I read it great literature. But people say these are awesome AWESOME!! books, and. . .they are not.

Side note: I judge you if you have screaming children in the library. If you have screaming children in the library, you need to be slapped, then kicked in the face, then slapped again. I miss the days of quiet libraries.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The One With More About the Photo Shoot

I failed for a second time. I completely forgot to update yesterday, and as I was falling asleep, I was like. . .you know, I COULD update, but it's after midnight, and it wouldn't count anyway, so I'll just take the second of my 5 free days. I need to do better, because I only have 3 free days left.

C finished our engagement photos and I am. . .I don't even know what to say about them. They're amazing. She and F perfectly captured D and I as a couple, and I couldn't not have asked for better pictures. Plus, we had fun doing them! So it's a win-win-(win) all the way around. They're under a password protection on C and F's Web site, so if you are just dying to see them, I can tell you how to get into it. Suffice it to say, they're great, and I am really (really) excited.

Speaking of excited, I got the job I interviewed for yesterday. It's a temp job, until the beginning of the year (so, like, 6-8 weeks?) but I'm still pretty jazzed about it. It's with a company that is involved in the publishing industry, so it helped that I had a background in publishing already. Apparently, the woman that interviewed me really liked me, so that was. . .you know, a plus. Being liked is a plus.

D is in town now for. . .however long. We are currently camped out at an extended stay (that reminds me of a college dorm. . .which is not a bad thing). After the week is out, we'll figure out what to do from there. . .we don't have a definite plan as of right this second, but as far as employment goes, I think it looks promising for both of us. (Fingers crossed).

(Have I mentioned in the last 30 seconds how much I loved the photos? D's beside me, still looking them over, and I look at them every now and again and am thrilled. Thrilled!)

"Thanksgiving" is on Sunday. . .the one where Mom's side of the family gathers? I'm still preparing (mentally, you see) for introducing D to the extended family. Any significant others of my cousins that have been brought into the fray have ultimately been able to engrain themselves into the madness that is my family, but. . .we'll see how that goes.

And, I swear this is the last time I'm going to mention how much I love these pictures, but there's this one. . .I'm looking at the camera, and D is looking at me. . .I've got like this death grip on his tie. It's one of my favorites, and I think C mentioned she really liked it as well.

D's take on it? His words are far preferable to mine: "You look like, 'I'm going to have him tonight. I'm going to make him my love slave.'"

So there you go.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The One With the Photo Shoot

OK, so I failed. I missed one of my 100 days of blogging, and I felt really, really badly about it. More badly than I feel one should feel about messing up a self-imposed 100 days of blogging.

But! I feel like yesterday/last night was a good reason to miss a day, so i forgive myself, and I feel you all should, too. D and I had our pictures done! C and F did. . .the best job ever. I am pleased with the few that I have seen thus far, and. . .I mean, I've got to say it. D and I are a hot couple. :) C told me that when she does engagement photos, most people don't want to kiss in public, so she was beyond thrilled that D and I have. . .no shame, and would make out on command. And make out on command we did. There are many, many shots of us making out in various locales throughout downtown Asheville, and also a few of not making out at all.

A link to the sneak peek? You ask. Of course:

I'm going to maybe write another blog when I get back home (in like 5 hours). Maybe. And if not, then I'll just miss one of my 100 days. I'll give myself 105 days to make 100 entries, I think. So there's a little room for error.

Tomorrow's a job interview for me. And D will be in town for the week, about which I am BEYOND excited. He's staying the week, and then going to my family's Thanksgiving with us. Mine and C's side of the family have our Thanksgiving the Sunday before Legit Thanksgiving, so everyone can be there if there are other family celebrations to contend with. This will be D's debut to my family, but I'm not concerned. C and F like him, my parents LOVE him (he's pretty much BFF with my Sdad) and even my sister, K, is a fan. So, here's to D meeting the family.

Go look at the sneak peek to the pictures. You will not be disappointed.

Friday, November 13, 2009

The One With Just an Update

An epic evening of chili, wine, and Cranium. D and F had me and D and their friends S and Other D over for dinner and games. D and I lost. . .terribly, but the chili was awesome. We're sitting here now Googling random questions and chit-chatting.

Again, I feel the need to apologogize for having nothing to talk about but for needing to keep up my 100 days. Tomorrow, I think that I'll have something to talk about, since we're having our pictures done, but. . .as it stands, today was just about chili, Cranium, and spending the day with D. (Also awesome.)

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The One With the Pop-Up Sex Book

Made it West. It was raining when I left home, got worse about 45 minutes into the trip and finally, miraculously, cleared up about an hour and 45 minutes in. Met up with D at a used bookstore where we, incidentally, found a pop-up sex book with those. . .you know those tabs in pop-up books that make things move? The best part of this particular book was that it had those tabs and it made the people do. . .various things. I was simultaneously intrigued by it and kind of horrified. D and I will probably have to go back to the store tomorrow to get it, since, for some reason, we didn't, and I feel this is a thing that I need to own.

Tomorrow, lunch with NJ, maybe back to the bookstore, moving things from C's to D's storage unit.

I'm super excited about our photo shoot on Saturday. . .C has several samples of things she wants to try, and D and I are both excited to finally have some good pictures of ourselves.

Another day of not really having a lot to talk about. . .I am truly wondering how I'm going to make it the 100 days of blogging if I have nothing to talk about. I promise I'll make more of an effort to have something besides the minutae of my day-to-day life. I'll look up a list of writing prompts or something. But, as it stands, Day 4!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The One Where I'm Going Out of Town

It has been raining like a mother for the better part of the last two days. I legitimately wore rain boots all day today. Rain boots and laundry has been the majority of my day.

I feel like this is one of those days where I need to have some kind of writing prompt. Literally nothing to talk about, except maybe the fact that I went to this restaurant my sister and her friends love, and I was sorely disappointed. The waitress was not great, the food was mediocre, and it was incredibly overpriced for what you get. I also meant to go to Goodberry's for dessert, but was disappointed enough with lunch that I just decided to go home.

I'm heading West this weekend (as I've mentioned) and I'm leaving tomorrow. NJ wants to lunch on Friday, and C and F are having me, D, and their friends over for chili Friday night. Then Saturday will be the photo shoot, and I'm not sure what Saturday night looks like. All in all, I feel like I'm going to have a pretty busy weekend. Then I have an interview for a new (temp) job on Monday.

I went to the used bookstore today as well and picked up a book of writing exercises as well as the 2010 Writer's Market, which was half-price from what you'd get at a regular store.

(Sorry this is so dull. . .maybe going West will give me more interesting things to talk about. But! This is day 3.)

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

The One With the Obnoxious Kid at Panera

What, praytell, has happened to common courtesy and raising your children properly?

I'm sitting here in a Panera Bread (had a You Pick Two with broccoli cheddar soup and half an Asiago Roast Beef sandwich, hold the onions, if you're wondering) and this kid walks up to my table. He was probably 6 or so. He stares at me for a minute until I look up at him, and when I do, he says, "Move. I want to sit there."

. . . . . . . .


I say, "No. I'm sitting here right now."

He goes and tells his mother on me. I don't know what he said, but I'm sure it went something along the lines of, "Mommy, I'm a giant brat and you are doing a sucky job raising me. The woman over there realizes this, and won't move from the table she's been sitting at for the better part of an hour to kowtow to my bratty ways."

Mother comes over to my table, brat child in tow, and says, "Hi. I'm sorry, but would you mind? My son really wants to sit at this table."

. . . . . . . . .


I said, "Well, no. I've been sitting here for a while, and I'm not going to leave for a while." She says there are several tables, and her son really wants to sit at this table. I say, I'm sorry, no.

This kid starts SCREAMING. Like, kicking and screaming, "IWANNASITATTHATTABLE!" kind of temper tantrum.

(Also, FYI, the person over the loudspeaker just called for Tinkerbell, because her order is ready. I love places where you can give your name for your order.)

Now, if you know me, you know I do not respond well to screaming children. Screaming at me, whether you're 6 or 60, is not the way to get me to do. . .anything, really. So I, of course, turn back to what I'm doing, as in, the discussion is closed. I see the woman go over to talk to a Paneras employee (a manager? I don't know.) and have a conversation, completely with wildly waving hands. The employee, bless them, shakes his head, says something, and the kid screeches.


They sat down at a booth directly across the room from me, where both of them have been shooting daggers at me for the last 20 minutes or so. And you know what? I am going to sit here until they leave. I am going to sit in this exact spot until they're gone. So there. I could have given up my table. But why should I aid in this brat thinking he can do whatever he wants, and people are just going to hand it to him? His mother might do that, but I certainly am not.

Other than that, uneventful day. Dentist appointment, endocrinologist appointment. . .a whole lot of not a lot. Tomorrow's Wednesday. Thursday, I was going to head West, but it sounds like D is going to be here selling on Thursday, and it would be kind of dumb for me to go there while he's here. We'll see. We're still going to do the pictures this weekend.

I feel like I need to find a list of writing prompts somewhere. I don't know that I'm going to be able to keep this up for 100 days in a row if I'm just talking about my life because, you know. . .not that interesting.

Maybe I could just put up excerpts from my novel I'm not writing. (I should get on that.)

Monday, November 9, 2009

The First One

So I'm back. I'm back for blogging 2.0. Blogging -- the remix.

I'm back with a goal of blogging every day for 100 days consecutively. I guess that means I will have to come up with something (or other) interesting to say for the better part of 4 months. Considering I have people asking me (still!) "When are you going to update your blog?" I guess I have something of an audience. I have people who will read the inane things I have to say.

If you're wondering, (and I know you are) the title of my new blog here is from Pulp Fiction. If you've seen it, it's the part where Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta are discussing foot massages -- the implication behind them -- and then they go in to kill some people. If you haven't seen it, that is the most vague description I could have possibly given, and you need to go see the movie. I own it, if you want to borrow it.

So since the last time I blogged (and, if you're wondering, I still hate the word "blog"), which I believe was back in April some time, I have moved back home, and living in my father's house, am technically unemployed (I'm working through the temp agency I left to move up to the mountains), and. . .I'm getting married! After. . .an undisclosed period of time and so many issues, it would make People Magazine jealous, D and I are doing it. (Getting married, that is.) Since we're in two different places at the moment (and aren't long-dostance relationships a pain?), we're diligently working toward being in the same town, but the whole wedding planning process has begun. My cousin, C, who got married. . .2 years ago?. . .is helping me, sending me suggestions, and doing a wedding-planning-type thing for me, at least helping me out. Which is appreciated.

The ring? you ask. It's going to look like this:

Good, right? D found it on his own, and it's pretty much exactly what I would have picked out for myself. There's that, and I've also picked out (but not yet purchased) my dress. I'm not going to post that, though, seeing as to how it's going to be a surprise (for him). At the moment, we're thinking late August, early September-ish for the wedding. And while I thought I had my colors/theme/whatever all picked out, I'm thinking I'm going to alter it a bit. C's given me some stuff to work with.

Also, speaking of C and wedding things, D and I are going to have engagement pictures taken this weekend. I wasn't actually planning on having them done at all, but C enjoys doing them, and she's not going to charge us for them (always a plus!) so that'll be this weekend.
I guess this concludes post 1. 1 down, 99 to go.