The One Where I Am Maybe Unnecessarily Hateful

I have figured out what I'm going to do with my life.

I am going to continue working at the library, because obviously, it's a badass job, and come summer, I'm going to enroll in the technical college here and get my Associate's in Baking and Pastry Arts.

Sarah's gonna be a pastry chef, y'all.

I've been saying this for. . .a while now, but I'm putting it into black and white on October 25, 2010, so that in a few months, if I haven't said anything else about it, you can be like, "Um, Sarah? Lies."

The main thing I need to figure out is the money. Clearly, I have none. I need to go by the school and find out about financial aid, etc. But I'm DOING IT.

Today at work, people were working my nerves. This happened yesterday, too, but today could have had something to do with the fact that my boss brought in this bundt cake for the birthdays in October, one of which is mine.

(By the way, while I'm thinking about it. . .I'll be doing a French Fridays with Dorie this week! I know I've been remiss since that first week, but my excuse is that the things chosen for weeks were, A) something I didn't want to eat or B) something with expensive ingredients I could not afford at the time. But since this week's recipe is a cake [Awww, yeah!] and all I need to purchase is apples, we're on for Friday.)

(OH! Another by-the-way, speaking of baking, Katie's 19th birthday was on Friday, and when I'd asked her what kind of cake she wanted, she said she wanted a dinosaur-themed cake. So this was her cake, enjoyed by my family last Saturday:

I KNOW, RIGHT?! Awesome. Also, in case you were wondering, and I know you were, those are indeed milk chocolate rocks at the bottom. WIN!)

OK, where was I? Ah yes. The October Birthdays Bundt Cake. I got super busy at work this evening, and by the time I got to the back to enjoy some of the cake, it was gone.

GONE.

My name was one of the ones on the little October Birthdays sign, and I didn't get any cake.

So that bothered me. Maybe you'll say it bothered me more than it should have, but then I'd tell you to SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH. It bothered me. So I was a bit moody.

What I should explain about the library is that different librarians deal with different Problem Patrons (PPs) differently. If a PP doesn't have their library card, some librarians will ask them for their name, others will ask for their photo ID, and still others will give them kind of a hard time while asking for their name AND ID. (I ask for a driver's license, if you're wondering.) Stuff like that. There are guidelines in place, yes, but if you mess with the wrong librarian on the wrong day, it's going to be a lot different than if you are sincerely apologetic for leaving your card at home and are nice, and you do not think we OWE you something.

So this kid comes up to me and has like $38 of fines on his card because two of his books are "long overdue" and when that happens, the system adds in the price it would cost to replace the book. He asked me how many books he could check out on his card. I said there's no limit, and he was like, "No, THIS card."

After I saw the fines, I explained to him that the system said I should not let him check them out, due to the fines, but how many he could check out would really depend on which librarian he got. I let him check one out. Nice, right?

Then. This lady waddles up to the desk. I say waddles not because I'm being mean or cruel or whatever, but she was one of those ladies that is approximately as wide as she is tall.

She hands me her card, all surly. I scanned it, and she had $48 dollars of combined fines and lost books dating back to 2008.

I say, "Um, this card has $10 of fines on it, and $38 dollars of book replacement charges."

(There's also a note in the system indicating she is "aware" of the charges.)

She glares at me and says, "Yeah?"

I said, "The system is indicating that you need to clear some of those fines before you can check out anymore books."

She glared at me again. "I ain't got no money with me."

(I'm thinking, "You've had two years to have some money with you.")

I said, "Well, I'm not able to check anything out until some of these fines are cleared."

Now. . .this is not ENTIRELY true. I have the ability to override the system message and check stuff out despite the fines. But this woman's attitude rubbed me entirely the wrong way. If you're going to use a place that has rules, you need to FOLLOW THE DAMN RULES.

She looked at me, confused and irritated, and didn't say anything. I'm guessing this is the part where, in the past, people have said to her, "Oh, OK. I'll take care of it for you this time. Just make sure you bring the money next time you come in!"

Clearly, she had never gotten into Sarah's checkout line.

She just stood there, staring at me.

"You could have a friend check them out for you," I offered.

She shook her head and stared at me.

"Well," I said, "once you get those fines taken care of, you'll be back on track."

She stared at me for another 30 seconds and walked away.

I wondered if I'd been unnecessarily mean. But maybe not. If she'd been nicer to me, it would have been a completely different story. But if you're going to be rude to me, I'm not going to go out of my way for you.

Another problem we have at the library is people leaving. Or rather, not leaving. We close at 9 Monday through Thursday and at 8:45, a message is given over the loudspeaker, indicating we will be closing in 15 minutes. Then another warning is given at 5 'til. Then one says, "The library is closed." Generally, people will wait until the 5-minute warning or the actual "We're closed" message to try to check out their books. At that point, the self-checkouts have been closed down, and I'm forced to do their transactions.

Tonight, though, I'd just HAD ENOUGH. I saw this lady browsing books in the self-help section (!!!) and when the security guard announced, "The library is now closed!", she then started to make her way to the desk. I, however, as soon as I heard the announcement, powered down the computer and went about making arrangements to leave as soon as we got the "All clear!"

She comes over and says she wants to check out, and I say, "Oh. . .I just turned off the computer because the damn library is closed."

To her credit, she says, "Oh, OK. I'll come back tomorrow."

But then the lady who was at the desk with me who is. . .SUCH a people-pleaser, one of those that wants everyone to like her, you know?, says, "Oh, I'll just turn this one back on," and I want to say, "NO! If you do that, they will NEVER LEARN!"

As it turns out, the desk at the back had not powered down their computers yet, so she checked out there.

Am I wrong to do what I did? Am I wrong to be so frustrated with these people? Is society, as a whole, just getting more and more dumb?

Maybe.

The One Where The List Makes a Comeback

Hey, y'all. Remember The List? Due to my complete lack of anything interesting to say and/or discuss today, I'm bringing the list back. In no particular order.

Let's see. . .Apparently, Day 28 (What's in Your Handbag or Purse) was already done, inadvertently, so I'm going to go ahead and mark that one off. We'll go with:

Day 25: Your Day, In Great Detail

Since it's about 10:50 a.m., obviously, this is not THIS day in great detail. This is a generic day, since most of them go about the same. Also, you may or may not be sorry for asking for great detail.

6:40: Alarm goes off. I hit snooze, cursing the world.

6:49: Hit snooze.

6:58: Hit snooze.

7:07: Hit snooze.

7:16: Hit snooze. D comes in and politely tells me if I don't get my ass in gear, I'm going to be late.

7:25: Finally get up and get in shower.

7:32: Get out of shower and begin "What to wear" process.

7:33-7:41: Change clothes three times.

7:42-7:50: Panickedly (is that a word?) gather up everything I need for the day, grab bagel and juice D has so nicely gotten together for me, hunt for my badge, hurry out the door.

7:50-8:05-ish: Drive to and get to work.

8:05-ish-12:00: OK, so, the order of all of this varies from day to day, so I'll just give you a list of what could and probably, at some point, will happen during this 4-hour span:

*Mafia Man comes by my desk and scares the crap out of me.

*I say, "I'm good, thanks, how are you?" between five and 15 times. (Yes. I'm aware I should say I'm doing "well," but that doesn't flow as easily.)

*My boss calls between two and 100 times.

*I enter the forms that people have filled out.

*Three people ask me to do things for them, believing me to be their personal assistant.

*Two people call me, asking to be transferred to someone else in the building, because they don't want to look up the person's extension.

*My boss references how much she dislikes at least two people at the company, following it with "But they're a nice person!"

*I drink at least one Diet Coke.

*I answer three phone calls for people who don't work here; At least one of these callers will insist they are correct, and ask me (1) How long I've been here; (2) How long the person they've called for has been gone; (3) Am I sure I'm spelling the name correctly?

*I wave at the jauntily gay mailman when he drops everything off in the lobby.

*Three to five people call or come by, asking if we're accepting applications. I explain to them that they can drop off a resume, but that you don't actually fill out an application unless called for an interview. One will ask me for a fax number. Two will have resumes ready for me. One of these resumes will have so many errors, it makes me want to cry a little.

*Seven people come to the front door and try to open it. It is locked. Two of these people look at me, and I push the button under the desk to unlock the door for them. The rest of the people won't even glance over at me and, after trying to open the door again, harder this time, walk over to the phone on the wall and try to figure out who they need to call. Three of THESE people eventually notice me. The rest linger in the lobby until someone lets them in.

*I office-laugh at approximately eight things people say.

*I go on a massive hunt for at least two people that have appointments waiting in the lobby, only to find that, when I get back to the front, they've already come and retrieved the person.

*Four people call me ma'am.

*I chat with people on gChat, talking about the drags of work.

*Blogs are read/written.

12:00: Lunch! D comes by and picks me up and someone takes over my post for the next hour.

1:00: Back to work. Small talk with whomever has taken my place.

1:10: I'm ready to go home.

1:10-3:00: Finish whatever work still needs to be done, interspersed with the stuff from the 8:05-12:00 block.

3:00: Boss calls me to talk crap about someone.

3:05: Boss comes up to my desk and insists she needs to use my area to make phone calls (usually in Spanish) and/or use my computer. This renders me basically useless.

3:45: Boss finishes using my space.

3:45-4:15: Boss begins to talk about her personal life. This includes her kid, her friends, her gyno appointments, and how long it's been since she's gotten laid. (13 years, if you wonder.)

4:15-4:40: More of the same from the morning. Counting down the minutes.

4:40: Boss calls with something that "needs to be done ASAP."

4:50: Boss calls to tell me it can be done tomorrow.

4:55: This is almost gut-wrenching how slowly time is moving.

5:00: OUT OF HERE!

5:00-5:20: Travel to second job. (Monday and Wednesday) Eat something or other.

5:30: Start library job.

5:30 to 7:30: Work, dealing with people who I've mentioned in previous posts, and wash my hands at least five times.

7:30: Break time! Either talk to D or read or power nap with eyes open.

7:45: Back to work! Do the book drop!

9:00: OUT OF HERE!

9:00-9:20: Drive home from library.

9:20: Eat something.

9:45: Settle in for computer browsing/reading/conversating/TV-watching.

Sometime between 10:30 and 12:30: BED! Get to get up and do it all again in a few hours.

So there you go. My day in EXCRUCIATING detail.

The One Where I Don't Have Any Kids

So, today is not a stellar day for me. I had plans to have dinner with my sister, but they had to be cancelled. I thought D was coming home today, but he's not coming home until tomorrow. I was going to make myself feel better by going to a movie, but there's nothing playing I would be willing to pay 8 to 10 dollars (with my "valid student ID") to see. I'm thinking I'm going to go home and bake something. I still haven't made Mom anything for her birthday, which was last Friday, so I may be in the throes of baking a birthday present tonight.

I have found an interesting phenomenon in the blogging world, which I have fairly recently jumped into. I've kept an online diary (or whatever) for years and years and years, since before it was cool, but I have just recently reached out to other people doing the same thing and found community.

Out of the. . .82 blogs I follow on my Google Reader, a great majority of them are cooking/baking blogs, but a large majority of them are also what seems to be called 'Mommy Blogs.' I think the name is pretty self-explanatory. I have no issue with Mommy Blogs (clearly, since I follow so many of them), but it's hard for me, at least, to find a blog that doesn't have a theme (baking, books, etc.) from a woman who does not have kids. I came across two of them today, and was oddly excited about it. It was like. . .my God. There are people, women, still out there who don't have kids!

Sometimes I feel like I'm in a very small majority. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. Kids love me. D and I went to see "Babies" at this little theatre downtown, and I thought my ovaries were literally going to explode from all the cute. But that's where it ends. I like kids, but I don't want to take one home with me. I've had the "Do-I-Want-Kids-Or-Not" discussion several, several times, but I still just don't know. I'm going to be acquiring a step-daughter (two, actually, but that's another story in and of itself) when D and I get married, and that's kind of where I feel my extent is right now.

(I'd like to take a moment and comment that yes, yes, I'm aware the irony of talking about how I enjoyed finding blogs of people who don't always talk about kids, and I'm using this entry to talk about kids. But whatever.)

I don't have the deep-rooted urge to carry another human being around for 9 months. I had a conversation with D that I'm fairly certain scarred him for life a while back where I referred to kids as parasites.

That's what they ARE, though. The rough definition of a parasite is something that feeds off of whatever host it attaches itself to. What do you think babies/fetuses/feti DO for the 9 months they're in there? I guess it's because he has kids himself, but for me? I don't like the idea. I am not dying for the day when I'm walking around with that "pregnant glow," knitting booties, having baby showers, and painting nurseries. Maybe it's just not in my genes, I don't know.

What I've always said is that I'm too selfish to have kids, and I think I'm going to maintain that for the time being. I am just not willing to give up all the things I COULD be doing for someone else that literally needs me all the time. I've already conceded I'm never going to get to live in New York like I'd wanted to because D's kid is here in NC. OK, that's fine. But that's the extent that I'd like to concede to. I don't, right now, want to have to give up time that I could do something I want to do because I have to take care of someone else.

Self-centered? Sure. But you know what? I'm not even 30 yet. I still have enough time to get unselfish if need be. I feel like I'd rather accept my own limitations than be one of these people who pops out kids and then can't (or won't) take care of them. That's all.

The One Where I Pretend I'm a Housewife

I failed again in my 100 (105) day quest again, so I'm not going to even try for that any more. I'm just going to say that I'm going to attempt to do this every day, but I'm not going to put the added pressure on it any more. Because I really feel kind of like a failure.

Today was a day of practicing for future days of housewivery. Not that I'm planning on BEING a housewife, but if I were, today was a good day of practice. D started a temp assignment today, and mine doesn't start until Monday, so I had a lot of time on my hands. In that time, I did laundry, washed dishes, got some groceries, and did all the other things women who stay at home are (I guess) expected to do. He was supposed to be back at 2:30-ish, and I was going to have lunch ready, but then it turns out they had him stay later, so he'll be here monentarily. I was, admittedly, relatively ticked off about the change in plan, since I had busted my ass to get everything finished in time to make my Lunch of Awesome (which included chicken, pitas, hummus, and fruit), but I couldn't be too irritated, since it wasn't his fault.

My Lunch of Awesome will have to be either tonight's Dinner of Awesome (which, maybe not so much, since it sounds like he's bringing food home from work from. . .something. A party? I don't know.) or tomorrow's Lunch of Awesome.

Tomorrow night, my sister, K, D, and I are going to take mine and K's grandmother out for dinner, because neither of us are going to be able to make it for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm going to be up with D's family (I may have mentioned this already) and K is going to be at the beach. So we're going for a visit, and so my grandmother can meet D. I think Golden Corral is on the agenda (my grandmother said she would like either that or Chinese, and I'm kind of over Chinese right now.) Plus, I like Golden Corral, so it's a win-win.

Then, of course, Sunday is T-Day.

Here's a question. I've never co-existed as a part of a legitimate couple, where both of us are in the same place. So. . .what do people do on the weekends? Like, Friday night? I really have no idea. We have plans Saturday and Sunday, but what do couple-type people do on the weekends? I really have no idea.

Finally, I had the TV on in the background today, and Ellen's show was on. . .she had Robert Pattinson on the show, and I have to say that he's not HIDEOUSLY unattractive when he's not made up like a vampire. He seems almost charming, or something like it. But.

The fans.

He came on the set, and they screamed. . .and screamed. . .and screamed. . .and dear GOD, it was entirely too much. I had to mute the TV. Maybe it's not Twilight I hate so much as the fans of Twilight I hate.

(No. The books still suck. But the fans. . .)

The One Where I Hate Twilight

I'm not failing today! It's raining outside, D and I are at the library, and I'm going to blog post before I forget.

Today was kind of a "don't do a whole heck of a lot that's necessary in life" day. I went back to my room at my father's house and picked it up a little bit (it was looking more junky than usual), put away laundry, and packed up some clothes to take with me to my home away from home for the week. D and I went to Dollar General and picked up some kitchen necessities (i.e. Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs. Yum.) and now we're here, siphoning the free WiFi. There's WiFi where we're staying, but when you have three floors of people all using it at the same time, it can get a little slow and tedious.

A sent a text to me the other day, asking if I was planning on going to the Thursday night showing of New Moon. My response to her was, "No. Robert Pattinson makes me want to kill."

This is true. I don't understand the RP love, and I feel like everyone who finds him, "OMGSOHOT!" needs to be introduced to someone who has good hygeine and who washes their hair regularly. The "Twilight" series, while an interesting enough story, really irritates me in general. They are some of the worst-written books in the history of people who made a gabillion dollars writing books, and the relationship between Edward and Bella is so incredibly unhealthy, it makes me wonder why all these teenaged (and some times older-aged) girls (and women) and like, "OMG! Love story for the ages! Bella 'N' Edward 4 EVA!"

So the point is, actually, no, I wasn't planning on going to see it. Truth be told, I haven't even seen the first one. D saw it and (inexplicably) really liked it. He hasn't read the books, though, so I don't think he quite understands my hatred and malice for the entire franchise. I have read 3 out of the 4 books. . .the first one, I tore through in a couple days. The second one, it took me a couple of weeks. The third one? A month and a half. It was sooooo sloooooow. I almost didn't finish it, because it was really boring to me. When the fourth one came out, I didn't even bother. I went to Wal-Mart the day it came out, flipped through it, and read the last half of the last chapter, just so I'd have some kind of conclusion to all the effort I'd put into it so far. I feel, just from what I read, that I was entirely justified in doing this. It seemed like. . .tripe.

Now, I'm not saying everything I read it great literature. But people say these are awesome AWESOME!! books, and. . .they are not.

Side note: I judge you if you have screaming children in the library. If you have screaming children in the library, you need to be slapped, then kicked in the face, then slapped again. I miss the days of quiet libraries.