Friday, July 9, 2010

The One Where the FDA Still Hasn't Shown Up

Last weekend, I had a 4-day weekend. Yesterday, I only came into work for an hour, because I was feeling like death had sucker-punched me in the face. This adds up to working 3 days this week.

And I still need a vacation.

The thing about being a temp? They don't give you vacation. At least not paid vacation. No vacation, no sick days. . .At least not until you've been continuously employed by them for a year. Which I have not. So when I get sick? That's kind of tough. I can stay out, but I don't get paid.

Wah, wah, wah. At least I have a job, right?

I've mentioned the trials and tribulations of working at a company overseen by the FDA before. And I mentioned that they hadn't yet shown up.

They still have not shown up.

Every morning, my boss calls me:

Her: Has the FDA shown up?
Me: No.

Next day.

Her: Has the FDA shown up yet?
Me: No.

Next day.

Her: Has the FDA shown up yet?
Me: Yes.
Her: !!!!!!!????????!!!!!
Me: Just kidding.

(Um, no. I haven't actually done that. I value my life. Also, my job.)

But the FDA has made my work life so ridiculous that I've started referring to them as the F'inDA.

A couple months back, I took a work course entitled "FDA Preparedness." Today, I'm taking a 2-hour course entitled "Interacting with the FDA."

Holy crap, you guys. These bitches are so hardcore, we have to take a class on how to SPEAK to them. A 2-hour class!

Obviously, I am in the wrong line of work.

I still want to work for the F'inDA. I want people to take a total of 4 hours of classes just to be prepared for the offhanded chance I walk into their business. I want a badge that I show to people and they go, "Uh, oh, um, let me call the plant manager."

But for now, I'll just learn how to speak to them. For 2 hours.

The irony I'd really like to see happen is for the F'inDA to show up WHILE THE CLASS IS BEING HELD. There would be no one here at the front desk, and they'd just be sitting there, while we're all huddled in a classroom learning how to talk to them.

They've even set up a rotation so that when I'm at lunch, someone's covering the front. This has annoyed me a little because now, I can't leave or come back any earlier or later than 12 or 1. Like, I can't leave at 12:15 and come back at 1:15.

Minor annoyances. I'll live.

I just wish the F'inDA would show up. . .

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