The One Where John Edwards' Former Aide is Obnoxious

If you're wondering, the "maternity prom dress" is up to $10,000 in eBay bids, and also, in case you were wondering, it is "not actually a maternity dress." It is a size large. So what you're telling me is that a large majority of the clothes in my closet are actually maternity clothes. Score. If I start having babies, I won't need a new wardrobe.

I know I mentioned a million years ago that I'd read that John Edwards book written by his former aide, Andrew Young. I took notes (NOTES!) on this book so I could write about it, but today, when I went back and looked at said notes, I realized I'd shorthanded it, so a lot of it, I'm only like 67.8% certain what I meant when I wrote it down.

What I have to explain, first and foremost, is that the guy that wrote this book is a gigantic tool. He obviously OBVIOUSLY was involved with John Edwards and his campaign because he thought it would get him big bucks "when" Edwards became president. My theory also (a theory that was repeated by Rielle Hunter, John Edwards' baby mama, in her interview with GQ magazine) is that this guy was in love with John Edwards. He was obsessed with the guy, and, according to a quote someone (I think Elizabeth Edwards) said to him that he wrote in the book, he was "hold[ing] [the Edwardses] close so [he could] advance [himself]."

One thing that points to the "this guy was in love with Edwards" theory is in the chapter that references John Edwards' $400 haircut debacle. Allegedly, Edwards didn't know the haircut was going to be that expensive because he "didn't usually take care of things of that nature" on his own. I don't really care one way or the other about any of that; what makes ME laugh is the fact that, while Andrew Young is going on and on about Edwards' obsession with his own hair, he said, "[Edwards'] hair, which was naturally thick and lustrous. . ."

I feel like, if I were a dude, a supposedly heterosexual dude, I would not be referring to another dude's hair as. . .anything. Especially "thick and lustrous." I laughed, a lot, when I read that.

Then, in further exhibitions of toolishness, Young mentions in the course of the book that Elizabeth Edwards had written a book and had thanked him in the acknowledgements. . .but in this book, Young thanks "The Edwards and Anania families. . .except John and Elizabeth." Yeah. . .thanks to everyone except the man he was obsessed with and that man's wife. . .both of whom made surfe he was paid handsomely for his time and effort, even though all this guy does is bitch and complain about the work he was doing throughout the entire book.

Um, how about you say, "No, I'm not doing that. I quit"? Yeah. Because you wanted the money that came along with the job. You wanted it then, and now it has come crashing down on you, you and the unethical things you did, and now you want to play martyr.

I'm saving everything I have to say about his part in the whole John Edwards-Rielle Hunter affair, because that will take up an entire post on its own.

More reasons this guy is a tool:

*He spends the first chapter of the book talking about himself, how he got together with his wife, how much he believed in Edwards, etc. My question here is. . .who cares? I don't pick up a book called "The Polititian" to read all about some guy who used to work for a politician and is now bitter because he got screwed. The book is not called, "The Politician('s Bitch)".

*The epilogue of this book is about Andrew Young's dead father. Again. . .I'm really sorry his father died, but I did not pick up this book to read about how his father died. I picked it up because I am a celebrity gossip whore, and was interested how everything actually happened. I mean, this chick (with the help of Edwards' sperm) brought down an entire presidential hopeful's campaign. Salacious stuff, right? That's what I was hoping for. Instead, I read about Andrew Young's dead father.

*Apparently, in Elizabeth Edwards' book (which I have not read, but which I keep seeing at the library and I may have to pick up, even though I think Elizabeth Edwards is another one who needs to shut up) she portrayed Young as an obsessed fan. I'm thinking, after reading "The Polititian" that this might be a more accurate portrayal than the woebegone, downtrodden Andrew Young he himself portrays.

*He keeps complaining throughout the book that the house he and his wife were building was "getting bigger and morwe expensive than planned." First of all, if that's the case, tell the builder what you actually want. Secondly, boo freaking hoo. You used to have the money for a giant house. I feel so sorry for you and your gobs of cash.

*He had to go into hiding for some reason, and where did he choose to take his family for this occasion? Disney World. I don't think I even need to make commentary on that one.

*All throughout, he complains about the things he "had to miss" (school functions, family time, etc.) because John Edwards was calling. Hey, how about this? Say, "Can't do it right now. Give me an hour." Maybe he would have said something like that if he weren't so obsessed with Edwards and his naturally thick and lustrous hair.

So, all that to say, I was pretty disappointed with this book. While it was interesting to see what went on behind the scenes (supposedly) throughout the campaign and all that, Andrew Young is just whiny, self-involved, self-pitying, and has his head so far up his own ass that you can't really take him seriously. The book didn't really tell a whole lot more than the news media had already shown, and the most honest part of the book was in the prologue when he says, "A lot of people will say I am writing this book for money. This is partially true. . ." and then he goes on about being unemployable (thanks to the Edwardses, of course). I could give him props for saying, "Hey, yeah, I wrote this because I needed the money," but from there, I just want to slap him.

I DO have a lot to say about the whole Rielle Hunter thing, but that's for another day.