Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The One Where the Class of 2010 Gets Really, Really Depressed

(Note: This is another entry that contains photographs I, myself, did not take. The ones at the ceremony were taken by my SDad, and the others, I THINK, were taken by D. Just FYI.)

Katie graduated last Friday. While I was busy graduating college and getting my first job and getting fired from said job and getting engaged, Katie went and grew up and graduated. D and I were THISCLOSE to being late, thanks to Raleigh traffic on a Friday afternoon, but we made it. Even found a good parking spot. I was fine on the way there. I was fine whilst parking. I was fine when I walked in.

And then I hear, "SARAH!" and turn to see Katie in line, getting ready to go in, waving and grinning with all the excitement of a soon-to-be high school graduate.

That's about the time I lost it.

I cried until we got to our seats. I ended up sitting next to a cousin of mine who is. . .kind of mean? And who would have mocked me had I cried any more, so I managed to hold it in through most of the ceremony. I just looked away if I had to cry.

Katie went to a private Christian school. I don't know how many of you know what about private Christian schools, but the graduations from such institutions are. . .all exactly the same. A few too many songs sung, a way-too-long "message" during which you find out that you may or may not be going to Hell, all in a gym that's hot. Freaking hot.

This one was pretty much on the money.

The main thing, though, that I need to mention, is the speaker. He's from a Christian college in South Carolina, the name of which I won't explicitly type out on the off chance this blog comes up when you Google it. He was wearing this giant medallion that has something to do with being the President of said college, and told us promptly that it has its own facebook page. (You're welcome.)

He started off with an analogy (or something) about a turtle on a post. A fence post, you know? In this case Turtle on Post = High School Graduate. The idea was that a turtle on a post clearly didn't get there by itself, and neither did a high school graduate. . .they had support along the way, etc. OK. Good analogy.

But then.

Actually, no. I lie. He STARTED with a 15-minute commercial for his college. Said that there was one person from last year's graduating class who went to his school. None this year, but hopefully there would be in the future.

Probably not after this particular commencement address.

THEN there was the turtle thing.

And THEN he starts talking about how messed up things are
in the world. Legitimately goes on for about 35 minutes about how crappy things are. According to this guy, every time anyone looks at an airplane, they "see a potential weapon." He went on about the economy, and how there are no jobs. He also took a moment to mention that Al Gore is wrong about global warming but that he, himself, does not have an opinion. There was also something in there about the melting glaciers. But, of course, global warming isn't a thing.

Um, I'm pretty sure that saying Al Gore is wrong is an opinion.

There was a rumble throughout the crowd when he mentioned Al Gore. I don't think it was a lot of people getting mad that he'd said AG was wrong, since the school is made of primarily of conservative Republican-types, but I have all ideas it had everything to do with bringing politics into a high school graduation.

Oh, yeah. That's right. I forgot that the graduates were even THERE.

At one point, he says something like, "Now, you'll be glad to know I'm almost finished. . ." and a few people actually applauded. D was one of these people, and, as it turned out later, my SDad was another one.

Then someone's air horn went off. You'd think that the guy speaking would maybe laugh or say something about it, but no. Just kept on talking. No acknowledgement.

About 40 minutes of doom and gloom (and bling!), and he closes with "But God is there." I think this was his point, but I also think that he chose the Worst! Possible! Way! to get the point across. Finally, blessedly, it was over.

And then everyone got their diplomas, and there was joy in all the land. But seriously? If I were one of these graduates, I'd throw off my stupid hat and be like, "Eff all this. I'm staying in high school."

When Katie's name was called, D said we were maybe one of the top 4 loudest families to cheer. My Marine brother yelled, "Yeah, KATIE!" in a scary, military-type voice. We're all loud by nature, so none of this was a surprise. I probably "WOOHOO!"'ed kind of loudly as well.

Afterward, we went back to Mom's, took some pictures, had some cake, and hung out. My brother brought liquor, which helped with my grieving process.

But all in all, good times.

What's that you want? More pictures? OK, OK. Incidentally, this marks the first time ever I've posted a picture of myself on my blog. This was initially for. . .something like security purposes? But I feel like at this point, I've given enough information that people would be like, "Oh, yeah. That's Sarah."
I know what you're wondering, and the answer is yes. I am, in fact, 9,000 feet tall. This is, obviously the fam.

What I should explain before my last picture is that my sister is kind of a misplaced hippie. She legitimately should have been born back in the 50's, so she would have been a teenager in the 60's. She's crunchy and groovy and all about peace signs. So when I wanted to change out of my lovely black and white dress and I borrowed some clothes from Katie, naturally, they were tie-dyed.

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