Thursday, June 17, 2010

The One With a Boring Question and a Sad Movie

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Day 05 -- your favorite quote

This prompt isn't as interesting to me as the others. I know some people walk around with many contemplative quotes in their arsenal, but I do not. I can quote TV shows (The Office and Friends, mainly), but I don't have a specific quote that I always go back to.

The one I put in the yearbook my senior year was from "American Beauty." It's the part where Kevin Spacey starts in on his "I'm going to get hot so I can do my daughter's friend" kick, and he says, "It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself." I've always liked that, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it my favorite.

How about my favorite thing that was said to me in time of crisis?

I used to work at a newspaper, as you may or may not know. I was in charge of the Life section. . .you know, human interest stories, births, deaths, engagements, weddings, etc. There was this woman who came in to talk to me because I'd. . .I can't remember specifically. I'd either forgotten to put in the story about her grandson (who was in the military) or I'd messed it up or something. I'd effed up the story, in short.

So she came in and tore me a new one. I'd been on the job. . .MAYBE 2 months. My boss was sort of sadistic, so screwing up meant fear.

After she finished yelling at me, and I'd apologized profusely and maybe cried (No, I don't think I cried. Much. While she was standing there.) she got a lot nicer, and she said, "Dear, just remember one thing. The people who don't make mistakes are the one who aren't actually doing anything at all."

I've remembered that since then. It doesn't really make me feel better when I'm messing up a batch of cupcakes or getting fired from said newspaper job or getting into an argument, but I thought it was nice of her to say that.

D and I started watching "Up!" last night and I did. not. like. it. Karen had told me that when she watched it, she'd cried, so I thought, OK, it's a happy movie where someone is in peril, but it all works out in the end in a joyous sort of manner.

Not so, my friends. Not so AT ALL. (If you haven't seen it and want to skip over this next part, I understand. <>

We didn't actually get to the end of the movie (fell asleep), but the beginning of it involved getting all invested in this couple that met as kids, grew up, got married, lived a happy life until the wife, who the guy loves so much. . .DIES. She effing DIES. And then he gets depressed and hits a construction worker who hits his mailbox that he and his wife put up many, many years ago, and gets sent to an old folks' home. < /spoilers>


This is a freaking kid's movie. (Actually. . .come to think of it, I guess there were plenty of horrifying deaths in kids' movies of my day. But STILL!) I did not put in a colorful, cutesy-looking movie to cry.

And cry I did.

I cried through I'm pretty sure the first third of the movie. And then finally, blessedly, I fell asleep. I have no idea how it ends, and I don't want to watch it again to find out. I'm a super-sensitive person anyway, but give me something like that, and I'm just a mess.

It was like:

D: Are you OK?

Me: (sobbing) IIIIII dooooon't liiiiiiiike thiiiiiiiiis! (more sobbing)

What I'm thinking (but didn't verbalize, because OBVIOUSLY) was along the lines of "Oh my God, there's this age difference between us and you're going to die and I'm going to be all alooooooooone!" or "Why didn't WE meet when we were kids? I'm not going to have enough time with you and I'll be all aloooooooooone!"

(Of course. . .we couldn't have met when we were kids. But that's not the point.)

All I'm saying here is that I don't appreciate Pixar and their mean "Hey, this is a cartoon, but it's going to throw you into the PITS OF DEPRESSION!"

(Apparently, it has a happy ending. So why didn't they START with the happy?)


  1. Ohhh Up. Let me tell you MY experience. My dad really wanted to see it, so my sister and I took him to the movies for Father's Day last year. So we're sitting in the theater and that part of the movie that you were referencing occurs, and I realize I'm going to lose it. This is a problem, because I have a reputation in my family for being the cold-hearted bitch, and I like it that way. So I attempt to feign an allergy attack -- a few fake little sneezes and some follow-up sniffling, which gave me an excuse to swipe the tears out of my eyes. I did not realize how long the sadness was going to be dragged out. So after a few minutes of this, I started trying to glance at my dad and sister out of the corner of my eye to see if they've noticed. As nonchalantly as possible, I rolled my eyes as far to the side as I could, then slowly turned my head just enough to glance at my sister -- and just in time to realize that she was doing the exact same thing as me. We both burst into a pitiful combination of laughter and sobbing, but everyone in the theater now knows us as the assholes that laughed during the sad part of Up.

    P.S. -- I love your blog. You make me strongly consider blogging again because you have so much fun with it.

    P.P.S. -- Have you ever checked out I think you would appreciate it. Reminds me of your kind of humor, and it is pretty much the best blog ever.

  2. That? Might be the best story ever. There was no laughing in my sobbing. . .just me crying about how much I didn't like it. I told my fiance today that I refused to watch the rest of it, and he seemed a wee bit offended.

    I also have to tell you that when I saw your comment in the "Moderate Comments" section, I didn't think anything of it, thinking you were a random person I managed to generate. Then I saw the picture by your post and was like OH! I KNOW HER!

    So, uh, that's awesome. Thanks for commenting. Also reading. I'm kind of a comment whore, so it makes me happy.

    Incidentally, I LOVE Hyperbole and a Half. Love. It.